Introduction
On September 20, 2005, my companion of twenty-seven years died. Donna’s killer was a brain tumor named Glia Blastoma Multiforme, which sounds much nicer than it is. At least it was quick: four months from diagnosis to death. But for twenty-five of those twenty-seven years, Donna had also suffered from Multiple Scleroisis, as well as an impressive array of other maladies. And through it all, the woman was strong, remarkably brave and, increasingly, inspiring to others. She was also, at times, the sweetest little girl you ever met and, always, a natural zany who broke everybody up just by being herself. Her passing left a huge hole in my life, and the lives of many others.
Twenty days after she died, I wrote my first letter to her. I’d been journalling for years, always writing to some vague projection of myself. Now I began to put my journal entries into letter form, letters to Donna. Almost two years later, I have not stopped, and don’t think I ever will.
I showed my daughter Lisa exerpts of some entries; mentioned the journal to others. Several thought that blogging the journal might help people trying to deal with loss. After a while I decided that Donna would approve. This blog is the result.
What you’ll read here is a day-by-by acount of a man dealing, as best he can, with death of his life’s love. Many of the early entries are about the logistics of going from a two-person to a one-person household, from a two-person to a one-person income, from a two-person to a one-person life. Later entries are more concerned with what kind of life I might want to lead, within rather severe economic limitations, now that I’m alone. The last part of the blog covers major surgery I underwent in April 2007, and the relevaltions I experienced about my life with Donna while rehabbing from that surgery.
But of course, the journal and the blog are about much more: pain, love, laughter, anger, joy and great dark wings of sadness; a relationship with an extraordinary woman; and an exploration of heart, mind and soul in the context of our long, long fight with catastrophic illness.
See for yourself. Welcome. Thanks for giving me a try. And please: ask questions, tell me what you think.
